Tinted Paradise

“It is an offence to bribe a police officer” –
sign on a billboard at the Kasoa Police Barrier”.

Many months ago, I heard my dear friend and professional colleague ACP D.J. Avoga, head of the MTTU, declare on radio that the Police were going to wage war on vehicles with tinted windows. Do you remember? Oh my people? I know that we all have a 24-hour memory span but try and do remember a few things for me, wae. Do you remember the Venerable Begyina? What happened to his matter? Classic ‘ehuru a, ebe dwo’! Do you remember Agya Mpiani? When he toned down upon realising that the same manners he had warped in his prime may be applied to his case, have you seen or heard him take on ‘aban nipa’ again, except for the occasional Ghana@50 appearances? But I digress. Back to the wonderful ways of my people. Yes, I know the venerable D. J. well. Believe you me, he is not a disc jockey though I know he likes music. Knowing him, I can bet my bottom dollar that he meant business about this jihad (oh, Baba!!!) on tinted windows of cars. Indeed, he explained on some radio interviews that the Police could not sit idly by when there was an enforceable regulation that a driver should not obstruct his line of vision with any other objects. He was particularly concerned about the role of these tinted glasses in potential accidents arising from reversing vehicles or even trying to see through the rear-view mirror. ACP DJ asserted that though the regulation on tinted windows had been on the books for over thirty years, it had not been enforced and a lot of vehicles were now plying the roads wholly tinted from front to back.

I cringed a little because I was one of the people who had tinted vehicle.
A tinted jalopy!!! My first car, a 1986 Opel Kadett ‘has collected my love and feelings’ and has been sitting in my house ever since my manager decided she did not want it anymore. Somehow, I have grown to love driving that jalopy and I just couldn’t bring myself to offloading it. My abiding pain was that though E.G. knows all about gears and the fact that you should be in second and not fourth when traffic slows etc, he is still just a precocious 11 year old handsome boy. All he can do now is to race around courses with fast cars on a TV screen. My wahala is with game pads and play stations, a fad that started when his aunt brought him a game boy from Babylon. So my jalopy sits in the yard collecting dust day by day. One day, I get a brain wave and decide that I am going to give the old shaker an overhaul so I can use it around town. Guarantees anonymity. Enter Massa Kofi. Massa Kofi is an amazing mechanic based in Odawna who has been a permanent feature of my mechanical life ever since my Cedi House days. He is a guy that I can trust with everything bar my manager. We go back a long way and we have been through loads of vehicular mishaps together, from breakdowns on the way to the holy village to emergency operations through the phone along a highway. Massa Kofi takes a thorough assessment of the state of the jalopy and assures me the Opel is still very strong and just needs a little tweaking here and there to bring it into the 21st Century. So I find some money and release my bird to him. The car sits at Odawna for a while. They do a fine piece of work on it. The engine purrs beautifully. Seats are cleaned and new covers fitted. Body works completed. Believe you me, even the air-condition is rehabilitated. Oh, my Opel is back with a bang!!!

Then one of Massa Kofi’s boys suggests that I should tint the windows which will make the car a little funkier. That’s how my Opel is being threatened by Chief Avoga and his boys. I have only tinted the back windows and left the rear-screen free. I guess I won’t fall foul of the law team. But you consider how much a tinted window brings. To the policeman and to the vehicle user.

First to the policeman. Nice car approaching. Order to halt. Show licence. Shown. Where is your insurance and road worthy certificate. Shown. Where is your fire extinguisher? Shown. Where is your triangle? Shown. Avoga boy looks around and heaven came down in the form of a tinted window. Massa, why is your window tinted? Haven’t you heard about the law that says that no car should have tinted windows? Paradise has come for the policeman. If you are a Ghanaian, born and bred in these hereabouts, fully conscious of your 'Ghanaianness', then you begin evaluating how much your freedom will cost you in Ghana cedis. Tinted paradise for the Avoga boys.

Then to the driver of the tinted vehicle. You are cruising in the city and your windows are all up. I see you , you no see me’. What may be happening in that vehicle. There may be cocaine sniffing, armed robbers preparing for a raid and checking their weaponsa, girlfriends leaning over to plant wet kisses on a stupid driver’s lips whilst the vehicle is in motion. Come on. Use your imagination a bit. Just imagine the possibilities in a fully tinted vehicle. Everyone inside it gets ways literally with murder. Tinted paradise for the user.

So, DJ, what are you going to do about it. Are you going to insist on applying the law? I have seen loads of quality vehicles with tinted glasses from home. If you imagine that some of these palces are areas with limited sunshine and not out 12 hour free sunlight, you wonder whether everyone who brings a car into the country had it customized. Tinted paradise is there for both the policeman and the user. We could ban people like me who have used some dark foil to tint the windows. Get it off or you don’t access the jalopy. That I can understand. But if we insist on banning all tinted vehicles, you will have to contend with that British Embassy vehicle that is so seriously tinted you can only see the driver if you stand right in front of it. Guess even the venerable ACP’s colleagues have tinted vehicles. It’s practically a venture that is not worth fighting. The effort to ban the cars provides financial resource for most police personnel on the road. The typical ‘ehuru a, ebe dwo’ of the Ghanaian has won in the end. Now I see them all over the place. You only get into trouble with the law if business has not been good for the day and the men in black cannot arrest on any offence but the tint.

We trudge along, tinted paradise for both prosecutor and accused!!! It’s a win-win for all concerned. I am sorry if I woke up a sleeping monster. My tints are coming off this evening so I am not made a scapegoat. Respects, ACP D.J. Avoga, for all the effort you put in. I wish you all the best in your endeavours.

Breda Osimi

P/S: As this piece was being concluded, news filtered in that a new paradise was being created. Its motor-cycles after 8pm. This one, is a win-lose situation for prosecutor=rider respectively, So help them God!!!

The Lorgorligi Dance of Contemporary Ghanaian Politics

“We are all capable of believing things which we know to be untrue, and then, when we are finally proved wrong, impudently twisting the facts so as to show that we were right. Intellectually, it is possible to carry on this process for an indefinite time: the only check on it is that sooner or later a false belief bumps up against solid reality, usually on a battlefield.”
- George Orwell

This is the time to be discerning. It’s a rather interesting time to be in Ghana. Every morning when I turn my radio on, its there. You just cant run away from it. People who should know better and who actually know better, just out of their beds, ranting and foaming at the mouth and articulating matters they don’t believe in for a moment. Disturbing public peace for private gain!!!

One day at Adoma, we had to argue about who really has his peace of mind these days in Ogyakrom. I managed to get the star players to agree that the man who sleeps and snores in these crazy times must be the truck pusher at Sodom and Gomorrah. No slight on anyone but if you don’t give a toss about who rules the land, about which party is in power, about whether there is an al-qaeda or "boko haram" which literally translates as “book-ye-haram”, whether there is light or water is flowing, then you have peace and have it abundantly. The man who wakes up and heads for the blue kiosk, whacks some 5 Ghana pesewas worth of aluku (ei, what’s the current world market price of ogoglo? ), heads for some banku spot and buys banku ke groundnut soup ke small fish ke nyadua ke nkruma for 10 or 20p. Let the sweat begin. He hits the road and goes looking for adwuma. In the evening, he attacks aluku again and settles for some fine ‘face the wall’ swimming in some potent soup. He doesn’t give a damn about PC Appiah Ofori and the 5000 dollars. He doesn’t care about Kojo Mpiani and Tarzan. Kojo hwan? He knows next to nothing about hotel waa-waa. Who the hell is Begyina? Is that a name? Where does he come from? That’s the guy whose blood pressure is normal. Not your average guy. Agreed. Not like you because I know my guy will never know about my blog, ghanaweb, myjoyonline, daily guide , informer etc, parliament, tagor etc. Life is what the Lord brings to him each day. What about you and me?

Yesterday the group called Alliance for Accountable Government (AFAG) hit the streets. I heard some of the heat on Nana Bobie’s show. It appeared very colourful. This morning I have seen pictures of canoes etc that went fishing yesterday on the streets of Accra. I have also heard Asabee, Kofi Jumah etc all pour some salt into whatever was being said. The songs as always were very innovative. Uncle Fiifi had his share. After all, he was the reason for the season. Ayariga, 'Munchinga', and many others had their fair share of the cake too. What a pleasant day it was for the kind of activity that they undertook. I hear Dr. Sipa-Yankey was also very happy for what they did. After all, he has been trying to get people to get out and exercise and if Owusu-Agyepong could stretch his bones a bit as an example to the youth, why not. By the way, did the Nearly Man show? Please if he did, then he understands what has to be done in opposition in Ghana. I hope he was exercising yesterday. If he didn’t, then he is missing out again and it may come back to bite him if he doesn’t join the next ones. Alan? Hope to God he was there. You see, Alan and the Nearly Man will be competing for AFAG’S affections. So each must monitor the movements of the other. The moment you hear that the other is heading for one of the numerous demonstrations that will be staged by AFAG during Uncle Fiifi’s tenure, the other must head there immediately and make sure that he is seen and heard.

Ebusuafo, what am I struggling to put across? AFAG is none other than the CJA of yore. AFAG is the new CJA. This is not a prophecy: WHATEVER CJA DID TO YEWURA, AFAG WILL DO TO UNCLE FIIFI!!! It’s that simple! I wrote a while ago that a certain metamorphosis will take place within the parties. Already, the NPP has become the NDC of yore. What with the whining, press conferences over irrelevant issues, walkouts from parliament, wide-wild allegations of no substance, threats of demonstrations and demonstrations properly so-called. The NPP has become the NDC. Will the NDC become the NPP? We live to see. Each passing day sees our politicians do and say exactly the same things the opponents were saying in another life. There’s a certain kind of talk that’s assigned to the opposition and another assigned to the government. If we had ability to store our files such that we could do a comparitive analysis, we will notice that some of the placards of AFAG may even bear the same inscriptions as that wielded by the CJA. So did we go or did we come? Is it because someone perceives us as so dumb that we cannot discern the issues anymore.

Is politics in Ghana just a matter of musical chairs? Where there was a Papa Jay, there was a K4 and there is a Prof. Where there was a Konadu, there was a Theresa, and there is a Naadu. Where there was a 31st , there was a Mother & Child. Where there was a Kume Preko, there was a Wahala and now there is ‘Atta adada yen’. Where there was an Alliance for Change, there was a Committee for Joint Action, and now there is An Alliance for Accountable Governance. Where there was a Vision 2020, there was a 2015 Strategy. Where there was an Asemfofro, there was a Stadium. Where there was a Group Chagnon there is a Zoomlion and now there is an EWS. Where there was a Vitol, there was a Sahara. Where there was an NDC, there was an NPP and now there is an NDC. The NPP was for primaries, then for consensus. The NDC was for consensus then for primaries. The NPP was for change, then was for Continuity and is now for Change. The NDC was for continuity then for Change and is now for Continuity. The NPP is the NDC is the NPP? The NDC is the NPP is the NDC?

So for all the people who were on the ‘Alaka-wo’ dance on the streets of Accra, gird up your loins because AFAG will call you out again. You need not be a soothsayer to know that by now an Oseikrom version is planned. Then they will step out into the other regional capitals with the same message. If that was a strategy that got Uncle Fiifi into the Castle, why re-invent the wheel? The same guys who rubbished house-to-house will be seen in hamlet- to-hamlet two clear years before the Electoral Commission blows the whistle for the start of the race. It’s rather interesting to hear Kofi Jumah and co say practically the same things Kwesi Pratt and Co said not too long ago on the same streets. Oh, Ghana politricks!!! The other day I met a senior lawyer in Court and I asked him whether he was defending the embattled rice importer who is facing charges of willfully causing financial loss to the State. He was shocked that I could suggest that he could be Counsel for the importer. But I argued that he will be a very critical resource to the importer’s legal team. You know why? He had a client who faced same charges in another life. All the arguments he made in defence of his client in the past regime and which the very same people rubbished, is desperately needed by them in their defence. The Lord works in mysterious ways. Is it the hand of God that Asabee will be asking for the support of the same law that he rubbished not too long ago. That if the law worked, he would have been cited for contempt ten times over re Hodari Okae? But hei, Jesus loves everyone. Ask the sisters who spent all their juicy years banging the Sons of Adam with careless abandon. When time comes to settle down and grab their own and no one is coming, what do they do? Yeshua Amashua is the Lover of Last Resort!!! ‘Come to me all ye that labor and are heavy laden’ and I, Yeshua, will give you maxi rest!!! Jesus never fails!!! So these sisters find solace in all sorts of ministries and evangelical activities. The Lord is good, all the time.

So my people, prepare for more AFAG demonstrations. The arguments may not cut ice with anyone but they will exercise their right to hit the streets for as long as the NPP is in opposition. Oh, I nearly forgot another feature of our politics. The party that won invariably has to compensate its foot soldiers. I wonder where that term came from. Every party that wins begins the dissemination and destruction of the very machinery that won power for them. All their generals are converted from the field into plum offices and positions. They feed fat and lose the zeal for leg work. The foot soldiers are left on their own and they begin to grumble. If you allow that to fester, then an elephant overhaul will happen to the umbrella. But back to AFAG. Most of the things they say may appear sincere but believe you me, they may not be as sincerely patriotic as it seems. The back-story to AFAG is that it is a vehicle for achieving power just like the CJA. If in the event, the government feels shaken enough to pay heed to some of the things that may be said, that’s when you and I as citizens benefit. But better believe that none of those guys will be out on the streets if they didn’t feel sufficiently threatened in their watering holes that they felt it necessary to step out and defend their acquisitions and carve a path right back to the gravy train.

Welcome, AFAG. You cut an impressive pose with your premier demo. See the CJA for a crash programme on how to influence government. Some of their placards could even come handy. As Ablakwa said, your demonstration is a testament to a better Ghana, just as the CJA’s was a testament to positive change. As for me Breda, I know you weren’t out there for my interest or that of my manger and the two musketeers or at all. “Se Atta adada yen a, mo nso mo re dada yen!!! Ne ho asem ara nyin!!!

Breda Osimi

The Price of Conscientious Stupidity... denominated in Vodafone Units

“The majority never has right on its side. Never, I say! That is one of the social lies that a free, thinking man is bound to rebel against. Who makes up the majority in any given country? Is it the wise men or the fools? I think we must agree that the fools are in a terrible overwhelming majority, all the wide world over. But, damn it, it can surely never be right that the stupid should rule over the clever!” –Henrik Ibsen, Norwegian playwright 1828-1906.

“I make no apologies for going to town today. After all, I have restrained myself for so long that I had to get someone to show me the way into town as I had completely lost my way. Am I stupid? Am I dumb? Are you?

Well, I can speak for myself and my manager and the two musketeers. We are neither stupid nor dumb. I know my people are also not stupid. But increasingly, I am asking myself whether those of us left on this continent somehow sold our consciences to someone who’s bolted from the market. We may have regretted the sale but we have not been able to trace to whom we sold out. Are we dumb?

Why cant the African stand up for what he believes in? Why? Is it because unlike the white man, we can’t blush? Have you calculated how much your ‘ball-lessness’ is costing your dear nation? Why is the African only strong and brave in front of his wife and his concubines? African women get battered for the most stupid of reasons just for perceptions of standing in the man’s way. Yet this same man may have just come from the office meeting where he knew that the subject of discussion was going to lead nowhere. Indeed, he was fully aware that the decisions taken could only lead to increased costs and will be ultimately unworkable. Yet, what did he say when he was asked his opinion? Yes, sir!!! This is the best idea!!! Sometimes I wonder what we will do if God did not bring you into this ministry, office, church, Castle or rock, he would add for emphasis!”

All the above was written more than two years ago in an article about the foolishness of the campaign to make Obasanjo run for a third term.

Once upon a time in my other life, Breda had a chance to tell some colleagues about an impending event. Nah, though I flow with a lot of prophecy, I am no prophet. It was also not a metaphysical event as any discerning mind could foretell it as a natural consequence of an earlier event. Once that event happens, the consequence, though it may tarry, will definitely come to pass. They, like some in the days of Agya Noah, did not believe me until “the rains came down!!!” OK, I admit that all of us in Ogyakrom have a 24 hour memory span. You don’t? OK, let me ask you a question. Do you remember a certain big man called Right Honourable Begyina Sekyi-Hughes and the hullaboutwhat? Aaha!!! We moved on, haven’t we? But I digress. That was just to buttress the point that out here in Ogyakrom, it’s only when the storm is brewing that it seems the whole world is collapsing on you. If you buckle up, and have a few friends in the right places, ready, willing and able to manipulate the ‘shitstem’, ehuru a, ebe dwo!!! So most Ogyakrom files do not date beyond 24 hours. They are deleted after 24 hours. But as Oscar and his people have done for me before, even lost files can be recovered. For a fee!!! So let’s try and recover some lost files here.

Remember some people who appeared on TV, holding placards and singing praises to Yeshua Amashua for the takeover of GT by Vodafone? At the time GT was being taken over, I wrote an article on the issues. A particular paragraph sticks out like a sore thumb and I just have to remind you. It reads “Accra Breweries Ltd. runs some adverts which show what they call distinctively Ghanaian moments. Let me jig your memory a bit about one such moment. Remember the red-shirted workers of Ghana Telecom who went on a wild jubilation that their company had been sold to Vodafone? The same workers who issued a statement supporting the government in sacking TMP and asserting the ability of the Blackman to manage his own affairs? It was the Ghanaian version of a kamikaze dance. Workers jubilating over what amounts to no less than constructive dismissals? As the Learned Judge once told me, “ma gyimi a, enka wope paaa!!!!

I believe that many other Ghanaians asked themselves the same questions. What’s wrong with those GT workers? Don’t they know that once the event occurs, there is a natural consequence that will happen as surely as night follows day? The event is called downsizing a.k.a. retrenchment a.k.a. compulsory redundancy a.k.a. ‘sack-sack’. Last week Vodafone decided that the workers were not disposing themselves off at the pace it anticipated and announced a compulsory redundancy to affect at least 950 workers across board. Enter the same workers and their union leaders: “We no go sit down”!!! So typically Ghanaian!!!

Fact: The workers at Vodafone Ghana are wasting their time fighting the redundancy.
Fact: The redundancy will take place.
Fact: Many workers will lose their jobs.
Fact: The compulsory redundancy is perfectly legit.
Fact: Neither the government nor the NPP nor the Labour Commission can stop the process, unless for a perfectly sound legal cause which is not on the horizon.
Fact: Redundancies or downsizing is a natural consequence of a takeover or acquisition. Ask my manager.
Fact: Pre-takeover corporate communication is fundamentally different from post-takeover communication. E.g., ‘there will be no loss of jobs’ is pre-takeover. ‘We need to downsize to remain competitive’ is post-takeover talk.
So, Vodafone workers who are within the Vodafone drop zone, if your Union executives ever promised that you will not haemorrhage jobs, start castrating some of them.

Here is some free Breda advice for all the drop zone candidates and others in Vodafone. Its time for your Union to spend its energies on negotiating a very good terminal package for all affected staff. Make sure you are adequately rewarded for the service you have rendered to Ghana Post and Telecommunications to Ghana Telecoms to Vodafone Ghana. Also try and see whether you can get Vodafone to fund some skills training in addition to your terminal benefits. Start letting the Union members be aware that what’s happening is inevitable. Yu must position them to appreciate that some jobs will definitely be lost. What the staff of GT did in openly demonstrating to welcome the takeover and calling on government not to intervene to halt it may have gotten some of them front page coverage in Daily Graphic. But it’s what Breda calls “conscientious stupidity, denominated in Vodafone units”. It comes with a price tag. It’s the kind of behaviour where an individual is fully aware that his actions will come back to haunt him or his community but he goes ahead anyway, regardless. The wholly unique historical act of workers demonstrating in support of the takeover of their own company suggests that all within that entity were ready for whatever adventure the new team was bringing including compulsory redundancies. So I laugh out loud when I hear the same people say that Vodafone never told them there will be compulsory redundancies. If even the mother of all ‘father Christmas employers’, the Government of Ama Ghana, was looking for profits in that entity, what did they think the abrofo’ were there for? A visit to the Cape Coast Castle? If Vodafone have to fire 1500 people to achieve their objective of making profits in Ghana, believe me they will walk the route. Vodafone aint no father Christmas o. They are here for the money and they will do what’s absolutely necessary to achieve their business objectives. This may include downsizing and sadly not even Uncle Fiifi can save you. And if you thought it was only Vodafone, think again. We all have a 30% stake in there and we share their vision. Only you will not get Haruna the Honourable to ever say any such thing.

Let me end with a message to my people: Conscientious stupidity will only come back to haunt you. Remember all the musicians who trooped to the Nearly Man’s house to pay homage during the race to the Castle 08. At the time, it made absolute sense because everyone who has sung a note was heading that way and refusing to go there meant immediate extinction of your voice. Oh, the perils my musicians face. Witness Jewel Ackah’s wahala during the years of the Elephant? Everyone who was anyone in the Ghanaian music industry crammed unto the Nearly Man’s train. It took the ‘suicidal’ actions of a few ‘mad’ men like Lucky Mensah to stick their necks for Uncle Fiifi. “Look, who’s dancing now”?

Breda won’t shed too many tears for Vodafone staff. If only you had bothered to ask the old Major, he would have surely told you that though it may tarry, a redundancy, in all its shapes and forms, would surely happen. As A. B. Crentsil (where is he?) said in one of his masterpieces, “me di wo be ko fie” which in Ohemaa language translates somehow like “I will take you home”. Believe it or yes, “ya ye mo sete waaaaa!!!!”

Breda Osimi
020809

BackStory - A Foray Into The Unknown-unknowns of Contemporary Ghanaian Politics

“Do you pray for the senators, Dr. Hale”?
“No, I look at the senators and I pray for the country”.
- Edward Everett Hale, American clergyman 1822-1909

When was the last time you stood up for something you believed in? Own up! Yes, it is you I am talking to!!! Stop looking around as if it’s the guy next to you that I am referring to. Eye wo ara na me ne wo kasa yi!!! When was the last time you stood up for your principles? And I don’t mean the times when it was very convenient to do so because everyone around shared the same opinion. When you know your position is right but wholly politically incorrect, when you are flowing against the tide, what do you do abrantie? When you know that what you say will cost you brothers, sisters, lovers, friends and increase your stock of enemies, do you still stand by your principles?

I am falling in love with a programme on CNN called BackStory. It’s hosted by Michael Holmes. It’s a programme that takes you behind the news and attempts to give us a glimpse of what the journalists go through to get the sanitized stories they give to us during news time. It’s a kind of reality show where the reporters shows how they manoeuvred into position, the people they access before they go on air, a bit of the matters which would otherwise never be broadcast on TV by the network. It’s innovative, it’s insightful, it’s raw, it’s engaging, and IT’S TRUE. It shows that before Christiane Amanpour appears “live” to broadcast on the news, she may have been in a shouting match literally minutes before a live feed to get her position on that stretch of road to broadcast. It’s the story behind the story. Back Story is a recent addition to the CNN stable of programmes. Until it aired, we (don’t fret wae. “We” in all my pieces mean myself, my manager, the two musketeers and Nii Aryee if he is home) always thought that the news was the crisp, sharp and focused on air live reporting etc that the journalists made look so beautiful. Until Michael Holmes and his crew showed us there was always another side to the story, who imagined that anything happened behind the scenes before we got the news.

To every story, there is a backstory! Me re ndada wo!!!

So what is the backstory to PC’s amazing semi mea-culpa on the five thousand Ghana cedis which he alleges was honourably discharged. PC blew my mind when he said that he was making the claim because they did not give him his share. Don’t ask me what the backstory to his claim is. Is it whistle blowing or trumpet blowing? To every story, there is a backstory!!! This morning before I left home, I saw on TV an American soldier captured by the Taliban eating breakfast or his last supper and crying for his mama. That’s the story. The backstory to that may be that a gun may be pointing at his head out of camera shot. A white board may be in the same room with his statement written thereon for him to read to us. The Taliban do not have a teleprompter because that would have done the job superbly. One word out of line and he may not see his mama again. But unless Yeshua Amashua is kind enough to let us know, we probably will never know the real story behind his 28 minute video.

To every story, there is a backstory wae!!! In plain language, backstory equals ‘there is no smoke without fire’, period!!! Yeshua has been gracious to us and kept most of the back stories of our politics out of sight. We have seen many beautiful pictures of officials over the years signing all sorts of agreements on our behalf with all sorts of investors for our benefit. The smiles are broad. We are working for the common good. Backstory? 10% cash down or no signature, no project, no contract!!! In Ogyakrom, backstories are invariably historical in nature. Unless an Uncle Fiifi decides to go looking for witches, we mortals never get the backstory. What’s the backstory to all the smiles on the faces of some fine citizens on Ghana’s 50th anniversary? What’s the backstory to Esseku’s resignation as NPP Chairman? Whats the backstory to Asaga missing out on a cabinet position? What’s the backstory to Spio missing out on a seat close to heaven? What’s the backstory to Uncle Fiifi’s sitting down with a sleeping Yahya J to secure a deal re Ghanaians dead in the Gambia? What’s the backstory to Sefa-Kayi’s issue with Shaaba and Agyepong the Ken?

So until Yeshua Amashua is gracious to us and we get some sneak review of the back-story, expect PC to be shunned by his pack of elephants. His Honourable Colleagues will refuse to acknowledge his greetings. He may even be sacked from the elephant herd. But we mortals will never know the backstory!

Let me end with a story told by KooRey in our bad old days in Legon: “ Once upon a time, the ‘mboadoma 31st “ convened a meeting. It was chaired by Mrs. Osibo who was the wife of the King of the Jungle. It was a very fruitful meeting where a lot of matters affecting the welfare of the association were discussed. Just before the meeting ended, at the ‘any other business’ stage, up goes the hand of Mrs. Apatakura. Please don’t ask me what her Christian name is. I have asked James, Rachel and Cee and they don’t know. Uncle Ebow is also not here at the moment for me to ask. I will not speculate because I am not sure whether its one of two animal-names that popped into my head. It’s your test for the week. Ask your wife what the Christian name of Apatakura is. You can go to my blog: www.osimidiaries.blogspot.com and let me have your views. Ok, back to the story. ‘Yes, madam, what’s on your mind’, Chairperson Mrs. Osibo asks? Mrs. Apatakura clears her throat and says she has a suggestion for all the fine ladies. ‘I, Mrs. Apatakura, wish to table a motion that we should appoint a ‘konomtea’ to inspect the genitalia of all our men to establish which one is the leader of the pack!!! Pandemonium broke out at the meeting! Mrs. Osono in a fit of rage was stumping and stamping all over the meeting grounds trying to snuff the life out of Mrs. Apatakura. ‘How dare you, Apatakura, to disgrace me like this in public’, she fumed. No names were mentioned by Mrs. Apatakura. What’s the backstory to the suggested inspection of the cadres of the animal kingdom?

To every story, there is a backstory. So next time you wake up in the morning and you hear/see someone who should know better, foaming at the mouth on radio/TV over something to do with JJ, JEA, JAK, Nana, Alan, NPP, NDC or some other project or issue, remember there’s a backstory to it. When a serial caller is ranting on air, there is a backstory. When Asabee goes ballistic at the airport and his wife is charged, there may be a backstory. When a ‘konomtea’ is set up to investigate Ghana@50, there is a backstory. When Muntaka, a.k.a. Notorious, says he has resigned, there is a backstory. When Breda Osimi writes this piece, there is a backstory.

Here is my prayer: “Oh, Yeshua Amashua that you will not let Ogyakrom back stories be historical but that you will reveal them live as they happen. Grant this our prayer through the name of your only begotten Son, whom many of your ambassadors are abusing for value in Ogyakrom each and every day, and all sinners shall say….AMEN!!!”
Breda Osimi

Stand Down, Ken Korankye

It’s the folly of too many, to mistake the echo of a London coffee-house for the voice of the kingdom” – Jonathan Swift, Anglo-Irish poet and satirist.

Ken Korankye? The name should ring a bell to all discerning minds in the country. Oh, please don’t say you have not heard the name. These days, they tell me one of the hottest raps in town is…haven’t you heard me on Bobie’s programme? You still don’t remember that name? The name Ken Korankye also should ring a bell to all readers of Ghanaian newspapers, especially my brothers and sisters who hang around news vending spots on days when the newspapers are in overdrive. The name Ken Korankye should also ring a bell with all listeners of radio particularly Peace FM’s flagship Kokrokooo morning programme. Then if you are addicted to Kwabena Bobie’s programme on weekday late noons on Asempa FM, you would have heard from the gentleman known and called Ken Korankye. I guess he appears on other mass media but these are the ones on which I hear him most of the time. He may probably be on some TV programme somewhere but due to my schedules, I am getting increasingly infrequent TV time and I have not been able to locate him on any channel yet. If you know where he surfaces, kindly let me know so I can put face to the name. Its obvious then. If I ever sit on the Metro with the said Ken Korankye, I would not be able to make him out. If I met him on the pavement, he might probably elicit a greeting from me because Afua taught me to greet people when I met them. But in all sincerity, I would not be doing that because he is Ken Korankye. For the purveyors of the newspapers, the man I am compelled to write about is also the editor of a newspaper called “The Daily Searchlight”. It is a newspaper that appears on most weekdays and which is gaining a lot of notoriety as a fastidious anti-NDC paper and by definition a dyed-in-the wool critic of Uncle Fiifi.

Ken Korankye has a caustic mouth!!! I am not one to fuss about freedom of speech. As Uncle Bob said, every man’s got the right to decide his own destiny, for on the judgment day, there will be no partiality. I have enjoyed some of the discourse Ken has got into particularly with Alhaji Bature sometimes on Bobie’s show. He seems articulate and works hard at getting his point across. But Ken Korankye has a caustic mouth!!! And he does not seem to distinguish which personalities are at the end of his vitriol. This piece was triggered by one of such vitriol that he spewed on Bobie’s programme some time ago and after several headlines in his newspaper that sought to attack the very integrity and personality of His Excellency, The President of the Republic of Ghana, Prof. John Evan Atta Mills. Ebei, wo nua no sen na anbin? In a reference to the President during one of the Bobie programmes, Mr. Ken Korankye referred to the President in these terms “… that nation wrecker”. I flipped. I hope all listeners to the programme who have not been blinded by the visceral battle between the elephant and the umbrella also did. How can anyone with access to public radio and a journalist at that, call the First Gentleman of the land a nation wrecker?

In these times when every issue is viewed either through elephant glasses or umbrella lenses, it should not be surprising that the ones who have sworn to their positions come out with increasingly amazing feats of intellectually implausible propositions on who and what their perceived enemies stand for and even lie down for. When was the last time a radio or TV news analysis panel was announced and you were not spot on where the panelists stood on the issues. Sometimes, its uncanny when you can even anticipate the words they will use. You look at them in the face, particularly the TV programmes and you want to weep for some of them. People have virtually sold their souls and come on air to say with all their might, what they don’t know and have not seen. JOY FM would not miss a moment to let all listeners know that the vitriol that’s about to be unleashed is not of their doing or their making or of their volition. The commentariat are lucky that Ghanaian journalism has not developed the ability to pull out what has been said in the past and match that against the present. So you can get someone, and I don’t mean Ken Korankye, who used to sing the praises of the NDC who due to no ko fio syndrome jumped unto the elephant gravy train having been assured that the chop-chop will be paradisoic, still in shock from what Uncle Fiifi has done. Stroller, Saratoga, Jerry, Baba and Publus all have assured me that when a man is in shock, he may do many things and say loads of stuff without necessarily meaning to. Shock does a lot to the mind which does a lot to the body which does a lot to the stomach which does a lot to the mind which does loads to the body. Shock makes many a person call people all sorts of names. But there is a limit to what vitriol a man is entitled to and more importantly, at whom it is thrown. Since Uncle Fiifi assumed the Presidency, check out Ken Korankye's headlines. Here are samples:
Monday, June 29, 2009: “A Govt of 419 People”.
Monday June 29, 2009: “The Muntaka Cover-up”
Monday June 29, 2009 Editorial: “Mills’ advisors Must Do Better”.
Friday June 26, 2009: “Mills, A Man Who is Anti-Peace”
Friday June 29, 2009: “Soldiers Shocked by Mills Double Convoy”.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009: “Chasing Damoah Out of the Army”.

Mr. Ken Korankye is unabashedly anti-government and anti-Mills. If you were waiting for a headline that is remotely favourable to the government and to the President, well, go to NADMO and take camping equipment because you will wait till Yeshua Amashua lands from the clouds. It just wont happen. As night follows day, you can be sure that on any and every issue, his twist will be stridently anti-government. But don’t begrudge him that. Mr. Ken Korankye has every right to his opinions. I will support his right to speak them any day. Its how he does them and the manner in which he seems to have fixated on Uncle Fiifi that makes me wade into this matter. What’s drives a man to such desperate measures? Ken, me ni sa ne? Look at Bombay. The man staked himself to the elephant “till death do us part”. In the lead up to the elections, you could hear him say on authority that the elephant will trample on umbrellas into the Palace that Yewura built. He was one of the staunchest defenders of the Nearly Man. Can you imagine what he may have gone through during those agonizing weeks when the dream was fizzling away? Do you? Can you conjure the images of potential pain that will be clashing in the brain as the events unfolded? The spectre of the Umbrella back in power. The spectre of Papa Jay straddling the news again and having a direct line to the Power Source? Can you? Such stress can easily throw the mind awry but Bombay still is standing. Not spewing vitriol as expected but yes, even having the decency to admit on occasion that the Umbrella aint broken as much as he thought. Bombay made my day in the discussion on that raid on the BNI by the Old Elephants Tuesday Club in support of their Honorary President Agya Kodwo who was having difficulty accessing his favorite mail from behind those tall walls. Bombay said point blank that the rush to the walls of the House of Exile was absolutely wrong looking at the quality of the persons involved and the vitriol from them caught on tape. That’s a man with balls. A man who knows that he may not have another birthday bash in a swanky Tokyo Hotel with an Excellency in tow. Even he does not call Uncle Fiifi a nation wrecker!!! He talks about Uncle Fiifi with the necessary decorum. Why cant you do same, Ken? Sometimes your language suggests that of someone who has a personal axe to grind. But for the life of me, I have not been able to contemplate what paaa Uncle Fiifi may have done to you personally for you to be so visceral with your caustic tongue every time you open your mouth about national issues? You really don’t have to do that to make your point. Uncle Fiifi does not deserve any of that. You know that, don’t you? But you think that out here in Ogaykrom, every one can say anything and not be responsible for the comments. Reminds me of the Tony Aidoo thunderbolt on Omari Wadie or some other young elephant in Bobie’s studio. Or is it the akom that infects people when they come close to him? If the Okomfo Bobie himself has his wits about him, how come the people who come close to him in the studio sometimes lose their marbles and spew stuff they should keep in their minds and release only to the madams or at the Coffee shop.

So Ken, I hope I see you one of these days. Stand down wae! Wont serve any purpose to continue walking your route. Learn from all the other senior journalists who make their case in a manner that does not seek to tear down any personalities. You will lose nothing in the process. You will gain something though. You may have had plans. Uncle Fiifi may have put paid to them for the time being. But, embre da ni. Enti gye ahom kakra wae. “Don’t wound yourself” in the process of such a virtually fruitless journey. Uncle Fiifi is for the next four years, our President. A president for all Ghanaians, including a certain Mr. Ken Korankye. Breda Osimi leaves you with an unsolicited advice: “Truth is one forever absolute, but opinion is truth filtered through the moods, the blood, the disposition of the spectator”. You may have an opinion, but how you fashion that opinion and how you articulate that opinion may be fundamental to your cause. Just do that and you will stop getting under the skin of Alhaji Bature. May chineke grant you peace in your heart so that the headlines of the Daily Searchlight will be more reflective of the times. Stay safe and chineke keep you till we meet.
Breda Osimi

PLAYING DUMB ON THE ROAD TO UTOPIA

Court: “How do you plead? Are you guilty or not guilty?
Accused: “ I plead my party”!!!
- Coming to a court near you this season of madness.

Okay, its official: The NPP has become the NDC!!!
While you slept, former ministers of the Kuffour government had organised themselves and marched en masse, cars, girlsfriends, brothers and sisters, well-wishers and even enemies to the House of Exile, or the Headquarters of the BNI, properly so-called. The reasons for the action were that they were going there to ask of the whereabouts of the Honourable Kojo Mpiani. I was in my office but I listened to the running commentary on JOY FM. I heard Dan Botwe speak. I heard Asabee speak later in the night. I also heard Kwabena Agyepong speak.

Oh, me nkrofo, aba asem koraa nyi? The actions of the former government officials and their supporters in organizing a siege at the BNI Head Office were to say the least unfortunate. It’s a low point, whichever you look at it, if former leaders and potential leaders besiege a state institution to demand the release of Mr. Mpiani. In the opinion of Breda Osimi, it another example of the brazen, shameless, typically-Ghanaian-politically induced move by people who frankly ought to know better. That is what makes the NPP the same as the NDC of yore.

Now let me pose a few questions? How different is that from the gang that followed the Venerable Papa Jay to the same place many years ago. Note that the then incumbent NPP extended the invitation. How different is the NPP mob of ex-ministers and former government functionaries and elephant sympathizers from the NDC yobs that followed the Hon. E. T. Mensah to the same House of Exile following his arrest and interrogation in the same House of Exile? How different is the NPP from the NDC yobs who followed Auntie Nana Konadu to the Courts singing and drumming their way into pumping fear in the hearts of the judges in the case? What moral compass does the NPP hold when people like Nana Ato Dadzie and many other functionaries of NDC I found themselves walking the same path as that threaded by Kojo Mpiani on the 02/26/09. Has the BNI been overhauled? Has Uncle Fiifi changed all the personnel there in the past 5 months such that they are applying new water boarding techniques learnt from the Venerable Gbevlo Lartey and Soja Panyin Nunoo-Mensah? How can the people who besieged the BNI office call themselves leaders? Are these the people to whom I entrusted my life and that of my manager and the two musketeers over all these years? Champions of the rule of law?

To all the people who besieged the House of Exile, I say you are potential nation-wreckers and hypocrites. You are no different from the guys up North who take up arms at the slightest provocation to resolve their issues. You are attacking government and governance the same way the NDC did to win power. In effect, you have now shown that you are officially in the opposition. You have just become the NDC of yore and its a crying shame. I could hardly bear listening to discerning minds among them and indeed some elder statesmen inciting the good people of Ogyakrom to breach the peace. How can you govern when all you do is to bastardise government and government agencies for selfish political ends? When will you start behavioring like leaders? I have previously commented that some of our leaders must go to church and mosques to thank Yeshua and Allah as appropriate for the country they find themselves in. Because if you were in other climes where they are discerning, you would not even qualify as a council member. One of them was even brazen enough to say that Mr. Mpiani may have been killed. What crash buffoonery is this from people who frankly ought to know better? The same thing happened during the elections. The NDC called out its people and they responded, en masse, sticks, cutlasses, 'bodanbo', 'buta', 'apio', 'ntampi' and all. The NPP did same. All in a bid to intimidate the EC? Leaders of today incorporating leaders of tomorrow? Weep for Ama Ghana!!!

For the records, the BNI did nothing illegal or unlawful re Kojo Mpiani’s invitation for questioning. This fact is known to most of the former government officials who converged at the House of Exile. Under the Security and Intelligence Agencies Act, 1996 (Act 526), the mandate of the BNI is so widely defined under section 12 (e) that the President or the National Security Counsel may direct them to perform any defined function which they deem as falling within national security. That’s broad, way too broad. That’s prone to abuse. Abuse is not specific to the NDC. It applies equally to the NPP too.

I fully agree with Counsel for Mr. Mpiani when he argues that it is critical that we all work at changing our ways in such matters. How can lawyers be disabled from being of service to their clients at such a critical time? Mpiani’s lawyer is absolutely spot-on that Mr. Mpiani’s right has been infringed.

But who’d bell the cat? These matters aren’t new. They existed in the NPP era and were duly utilized for selfish political gains. The same personnel are now employing the same tactics on their former masters. The abiding pain is that the NPP has no moral right to make such calls against such behaviour. You feel like crying for Opanyin Kojo but truth be told, the tears are hard to come by. People who are passionate about Ghana and who are discerning can and indeed should make the calls against such behaviour. It cannot be right when a senior policeman at a station where a client has been arrested tells the lawyer that their time had not come because they should go and wait for the case in court and have no business at a police station when a client has been arrested. That’s of course, bunkum. But that’s the life in Ogyakrom. Opanyin Kojo, warts and all, has a right under the constitution to legal counsel. If he does not get it, he can refuse to talk until his lawyers are by his side. But the dilemma for Opanyin Kojo may be this: “in a land where it’s the victor’s law that applies, what do I do? If I don’t cooperate and they get angry, they may “finger” me bad”. Ask yourself, why are the Tony Blairs and Dubya’s walking free in the land of their birth? It’s because the law is no respector of person. It’s because of equality before the law. It’s because out there, no politician can manipulate the system. If you have manipulated the system before, knowing that the pains of Tsatsu were contrived in some room before being played out in public, then you have earned the right to your nightmares! May you never sleep easy!!!. If you have stolen money, done illegal and unlawful things in our collective names, you have earned the right to your nightmares! God is doing a wonderful thing. Teaching politicians that it is about service to the people and not to self!!!

Mr. Politician, you have been given a golden chance to fleece a nation of forgivers. You can do a little good for great personal gain. But please, Papa Politricks, stop bastardizing the government or government agencies. Now you have the street hawkers saying that they would not leave the pavements. Are we cursed to remain in the jungle forever? All of us, discerning or not, have a duty to give government time and space to work. The law, as the breachers are already aware, makes provision for redress even if the BNI messes one up. If Gushiegu, Tamale and Bawku are deemed lawless because of the tendency for self-help, then our so-called leaders have the same genes. That should set you running to the nearest temple for some fasting and prayers. For people who aspire to govern and the people who are in government, you act to impugn government at your peril. Those actions will not stop the state agencies from doing their work. If anyone perceives an infringement of their right, the law is available.

So what has changed?

Where there was a Papa Jay
There was a K4.

Where there was a Konadu
There was a Theresa.

Where there was a 31st
There was a Mother & Child.

Where there was a Kume Preko
There was a Wahala.

Where there was an Alliance
There was a Committee.

Where there was a Vision
There was a Strategy.

Where there was an Asemfofro
There was a Stadium.

Where there was a Chagnon
There is a Lion.

Where there was a Vitol
There is a Sahara.

Where there was an NPP
There is an NDC.

The NPP was for primaries
The NDC was for consensus.

The NPP was for consensus
The NDC was for primaries.

The NPP was for Change
The NDC was for Continuity.

The NPP was for Continuity
The NDC was for Change.

The NPP is the NDC is the NPP?

So if you didn’t know, now you know. The wheels have turned and still remain forever still. The politicians are the same? Is life only about tummies? You and I may not matter much in that equation. The NPP has become the NDC! Will the NDC become the NPP? When you say a prayer, say one for Uncle Fiifi. Uncle Fiifi, wowo asem bo no por!!!

Mr. Politrician, stop driving us to utopia just because we are all dumb!!!

God Bless Our Homeland Ghana
And Make Our Nation Great and Strong!!!

Vodafone Blues

“Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens” – William Henry Beveridge (Late British Economist)

Throughout last week, one of the major developing stories was that my government had terminated the management contract it had with the Norwegians at Ghana Telecoms (GT) and appointed our own kith and kin to run the company. The Board announced a new management for GT, effectively saying goodbye to Telecom Management Partners (TMP) of cold, icy Norway.

On Monday, Dec. 11, 2006, the Daily Graphic newspaper, ‘Ghana’s biggest-selling newspaper since 1950’, reported that the workers of GT had declared their support for the decision of the government not to renew TMP’s contract. In the opinion of the workers, Ghanaians could manage GT better than any foreigner, considering the performance of expatriates who had managed it. According to the report, the workers stated that TMP for instance had promised to provide 300 to 400 lines since they took over the company but failed to achieve that. Further, in spite of the unsatisfactory performance of the TMP officials, they were paid better than their Ghanaian counterparts. For instance, a minimum of $8000 a month was paid as salary to a Telenor official in addition to free fuel, electricity and accommodation while their Ghanaian counterparts on the same level did not enjoy such salary and benefits. The workers therefore called on the government to create the necessary environment for the staff of GT to work effectively and efficiently. Well said, if you ask me! Typically Ghanaian!! Always after the fact!!!

Enter my government! The Minister of Communications is reported to have confirmed government’s decision to terminate the management contract with TMP. More importantly, Mr. Minister reiterated that my government believed absolutely in the competence and capability of the Ghanaian, as confirmed by the decision not to renew the contract with TMP. Notably, he announced that my government was seriously working on privatising GT, by offloading a percentage of its shares to ‘Every Ghanaian Living Everywhere’. As part of the policy of privatization, a strategic investor was being sought to take a majority stake in the company. He said that my government was aiming at achieving this sometime in the next year.

Enter the praise singers! They seem to be everywhere these days as it may be the most lucrative local business. According to the commentariat, this was a very solid decision by my government. My government’s refusal to renew the management contract with TMP showed that my government believed in the efficiency and work ethos of the Ghanaian. It was also a realization that Ghana could not continue to spend huge sums of money on the few expatriate staff and on the management fees of TMP when essentially, the job was being done by Ghanaians. The commentariat has generally hailed the move as a master stroke by my government. Foreigners have been bleeding us dry and we just could not afford to let that continue. Especially when we are just about to celebrate 50 years of life in the desert, having lost the map to Canaan!!! According to my government, the decision to terminate the Icemen laid somewhere between patriotism and costs.

Now, let us pause for reflections! Why has the Ghanaian become so predictable? Is it a good decision that the management contract will not be renewed? I hope you will give thought to the reasons that have been assigned so far for the decision because that is what tickled me in the first place. A sudden belief in the Ghanaian just when a major entity such as GT was to be privatized? According to my government, one major plank of the entire corporate strategy for GT is to raise additional equity by the government offloading its stake to private investors. This will include you and me as ordinary citizens. Privatisation by definition also makes no distinction between the colours of the money. There will therefore be no distinction between Ghanaian and non-Ghanaian in our bid for investors in GT. My government itself has stated unambiguously that it will look for a strategic investor to take a stake in GT. Can anyone help me out here? A Ghanaian strategic investor? A Ghanaian consortium, again? Or an established international player in the Telecoms industry? Let’s try and trawl through the maze a little. In my imagination, I have dismissed the notion of a Ghanaian strategic investor. There are Ghanaians with the wherewithal, financially to take the stake but I am not sure whether they will have the technological savvy to manage GT by themselves. It can be done but it is just not feasible and so far, has not happened with any of the major privatizations of public utilities that I know of on this continent. Moreover, unless you are a Ghanaian with a British or American citizenship, you will be courting a dance with wolves if you decide to flex your financial muscle by wading into these waters. Down South, wealth, even when it’s within the party, is always looked upon with suspicion and you may wake up one day to find that what you considered yours had never in fact been yours. You were holding it in trust for the people!

What about the Ghanaian consortium? That is also very feasible. Indeed, it has been shown in this country that with the requisite brains and financial skills and the right ‘buoyancy’, you don’t even need to have the dough. It can be generated by a beautiful business plan. So a Ghanaian consortium may very well be able to get this strategic stake in GT and then run same on Ghanaian lines. It’s a possibility but not a probability. The real probability, from conventional wisdom and historical antecedents is that the strategic investor in GT will definitely be another foreign entity. So I wonder why my government is going to town about its belief in Ghanaman’s ability to deliver as ultimate Manager of GT. A foreign strategic investor may bring a lot more to the table and may actually be what my government is looking for. Now get this: No strategic investor, be it a Ghanaian consortium or foreign investor, will cede control over the management of GT! Period! Chuku chaka, chuku chaka… the gravy train has left the station oooo!

If, as my confused mind tells me, a foreign investor is the most probable option, then all this talk about delivering GT into Ghanaian hands as result of our conversion to belief in self is all…”camouflage and concealment”. I know we are expected to have only 24 hour memory span but do you remember the genesis of the GIA journey to The Hague? Do you remember board meetings being convened and held in the Castle by persons who were neither directors nor members of management? If white men could be summoned, do you think that a Ghanaman would have the nerve to say nay to requests for appointments to offices and contracts? Any foreign entity that buys a strategic stake in GT will bring its management team or at worst, determine who runs GT. Any attempt by my government to dictate who manages GT after privatization will not work and will also make any beneficial deals highly improbable. No government anywhere on the surface of this earth can seek to transfer a strategic stake in a public institution to a private foreign entity for value and still demand that you leave the old management team in place. Not even Putin’s Russia! So where from all this talk of a sudden belief in the Ghanaian management?

So here’s how the gravy train works. Get the foreigners who don’t understand that we are lords of all we survey out. We may not be too sure about their ‘marginal propensity to play ball’ at such a strategic time. We just cannot afford any battles at this time as to how we manage the privatization process. After all, we are spending so much money on them and it’s an easier spin than most. As for my people, they know who gave them the job so we will have a relatively smooth playing field to manage the process. We have no time for silly questions from these foreigners that will and may very well poke their noses into matters that don’t concern them. In any case, it is fairly easier to get a local consortium to take this ‘juicy juice’, all in the name of ‘Ghanaianisation’. We can also get our people positioned for take-off in the company. Its time to get busy, stupid! This a property-owning era and we must help make loads of property for those who believe! If we can get a foothold into this communication giant, ourselves, our children and our ‘grandchildren-children’ would have been guaranteed passports to eternal bliss. Even if we have a difficulty swinging a consortium in these muddy media waters, we can still be positioned for take-off in this period so that before the strategic investor lands, we may have linked up already and taken our cut or we can be safely embedded within the organization to take the undoubted benefits of our ‘property-owning’ policies.

So my people, dream on. Most Ghanaians have a 24 hour memory span. I demand that you forget all that you have heard in the past 24 hours. I expect you will not remember a thing about my government swearing an oath of belief in the Ghanaian as a reason for sacking the foreign contingent from GT when 6 months or so from today, another batch of foreigners take over GT. I expect you to applaud everything that my government will do in its avowed bid to create wealth for you and for your children. Where’s the gravy train? Jump on before it makes the next stop at GT. “Chuku chaka, chuku chaka, chioooooooooo!!!

P/S: My people, I need some land around Accra to start my church. I am a prophet. Unordained! Self-Anointed! Rev. Dr. Prophet Onyameneba Breda Osimi!!! The piece you have just read was first written in late 2006. How pathetically prophetic! Oh, me nkrofo! The people who rule always package a message for the now. They know that you and I are more concerned about the bread and butter issues. They know that you will never remember anything they said a year before an event. They know that only the commentariat on the other side of the fence will make a passing comment on things said in the past but they do so on a whim and a prayer. The stubborn "aban nipa" will contest any negative reference and the opponent will back off because he has done no research and cannot defend himself. When I follow the facts now, that Ghana Telecom has indeed been given to oburoni and is now Vodafone Ghana and match that against what the same government said when it begun its move to carry this 'agyapadie’ to some oburoni, then I know that upon that rock, I will build my church!

Accra Breweries Ltd. runs some adverts which show what they call distinctively Ghanaian moments. Let me jig your memory a bit about one such moment. Remember the red-shirted workers of Ghana Telecom who went on a wild jubilation that their company had been sold to Vodafone? The same workers who issued a statement supporting the government in sacking TMP and asserting the ability of the Blackman to manage his own affairs? It was the Ghanaian version of a kamikaze dance. Workers jubilating over what amounts to no less than constructive dismissals? As the Learned Judge once told me, “ma gyimi a, enka wope paaa!!!!

Watch this space: The grand opening of the Church of Osimi will be announced soon on this network. When I read all my pieces of yesteryears, during the time of the elephant-domesticated, a voice crying in the wilderness, I know I have the anointing. We have been on a ride. Bump ahead. Wake up or forever remain asleep!!!

Breda Osimi
www.osimidiaries.blogspot.com